Wednesday, November 4, 2015

when the odds are against you

Statistically speaking I was in a bad place at the age of seventeen.  I felt like the odds were stacked against me...and they were.  Some of the statistics for unwed teen mothers are as follows:

  • Young women who are teen mothers are less likely to attain a high school diploma by age 22 than those who are not (fifty-one percent compared to 89 percent).
  • Less than two percent of teen mothers complete college by age 30.
  • When earnings are compared over the first 15 years of motherhood, women who were teen mothers earn significantly less than women who were not. Teen mothers are also more likely to be on welfare.
  • Teen parents are at risk of subsequent pregnancy: over one fifth of births to teens in the U.S. are second births.  About one-fourth of teenage mothers have a second child within two years of their first birth.  Subsequent pregnancies can compound educational and financial difficulties for young women. 
  • Children of teen mothers are more likely to be born prematurely and/or at low birth weight than children of older mothers, placing them at higher risk for other health problems. 

While I wasn't exactly aware of these numbers at the time I knew my future looked pretty bleak.  How was I going to survive this type of setback?  Was I strong enough to be able to handle this challenge?  These numbers above don't even discuss the amount of strain that is on the young couples.  Just from what I had seen with my own eyes I knew that relationships didn't survive teen pregnancies.

God is not of this world and He is the maker of miracles.  Jesus says...

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 11: 28-30 NIV

Wow!  What a promise!  Jesus said that He would handle it all for me, all I needed to do was release it into His hands.  In return for all of my troubles he would give me peace.  I was sold!  I knew that I didn't have the strength or the courage to face my difficult future alone.  In my heart of hearts, I knew that my boyfriend wouldn't be up to the task either.  We needed help from the only one strong enough to carry our load.  That person was Jesus.

All too often we think that we can handle the obstacles ourselves.  Then we end up feeling depleted and resentful.  God says we don't have to go at it alone.  He is our helper.  He will do the dirty work.  When we lay our burdens at His feet He is there to pick them up.  He knew what it was like to feel overwhelmed and hurt.  He drew His strength from His Father and He asks us to do the same.

Remember that towering city named Jericho?  Joshua probably looked up at those walls wondering how on God's green earth was he going to get inside that city.  From a human standpoint the odds were certainly against him.  But that was just it, God was going to do all the dirty work.  All Joshua had to do was have faith and obey God's orders and God would deliver on His promise.  It didn't take any explosive devices, ropes, or battering rams.  All it would take was a shout unto the Lord.

"When the people heard the sound of the rams' horns, they shouted as loud as they could.
Suddenly, the walls of Jericho collapsed, and the Israelites charged straight into the town and captured it."

Joshua 6: 20

I imagine that the Israelites were awe struck!  The impossible had just taken place and all at the hands of the Lord.  So you know that wall?  The one that looms above you?  Don't stand in it's shadow, overcome by how large it is.  Give it to God to tear down.  Watch it turn to dust before your very eyes.  All you have to do is shout unto the Lord.

Many blessings,

Thursday, September 17, 2015

how I told my boyfriend he was going to be a dad

His voice was nervous, even a little shaky.  Even though I couldn't see him I could hear his trepidation over the phone.

"So how did it go?  Did you find out?  What did they say?" He asked.

I had already made up my mind.  I wasn't going to tell him over the phone.  This was something that had to be said face to face.  I only had one shot at it, and I needed to be able to see his reaction.  I needed to be there with him.  I felt it was imperative.  I wanted to blurt it out, but I kept myself calm. We were two days from Valentine's Day and I knew that we'd see each other soon.  I decided I would wait till then to tell him.  I calmly explained to him that I would let him know the news on Valentine's Day.  That way we could talk about things.  He wasn't too thrilled that he had to wait another two days, but I knew I had to be there in front of him looking into his eyes.

We had made a disaster of things and threw a wrench into our plans for life.  I carried this burden alone for the next two days while grapplling with the urge to pick up the phone and tell him everything.  In those that short time fear rose up in me about the possibility of his reaction being less than noble.  After all, we weren't married.  What if the responsibility scared him away?  Then it dawned on me that it was just another consequence of being an unwed mother.  There was nothing telling him that he was obligated to stay.  We had been dating for over a year but now that seemed like an insignificant amount of time.  Did we really know each other that well?  He was twenty-one and I was seventeen.

Valentine's Day came and all I can remember was that I was a nervous wreck.  We were supposed to dine at a restaurant.  I honestly don't remember if we ever made it to the restaurant that night.  Shortly after he picked me up he pulled over to the side of the road.  He explained to me that he had to know and couldn't wait another moment.

I grabbed a hold of his hands and turned to face him.  We looked into each other's eyes and I said it...

"Babe, You and I are going to have a baby."

He hugged me.  He hugged me tight.  We were both shaking.  I knew how he felt for I had been there only two days prior.



Yet, he kissed me and told me he loved me.  He reassured me that we'd get through this together,  that he'd stay by my side, and everything would be okay (sigh of relief).  Suddenly I felt like we could do anything, as long as we were together.

He then said something that startled me.  He told me he absolutely didn't want me telling my parents anything without him.  He wanted to take them to dinner and tell them face to face.  He wanted us to tell them together.  The thought had never occurred to me so I was a little taken aback.  I nervously smiled and agreed.  It made me love him more.  He was going to face my parents, and I wouldn't have to do it alone (even bigger sigh of relief).

While his reaction was better than I had hoped for, it wasn't nearly as good as it could have been if we  had been a few years older and married.  We had robbed each other of well wishes, heart-felt congratulations, and tears of joy.  It was becoming more and more apparent why we should have waited to have sex.  I now realized that he was meant for me, always meant for me...but we had messed with God's plan.  If we had waited and did things the way God wanted us to we wouldn't be in the position we were in.  Now we had to figure out how we would look our parents in the eyes, and break their hearts.

"But they soon forgot what he had done and did not wait for his plan to 
unfold.  In the desert they gave in to their craving; in the wilderness they put God to the test."
Psalm 106:13-14

To learn about how I found out I was going to be a mom click here.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

how I fell in love at sixteen

"You don't know what love is"
"You are too young to understand"
"You're too young to settle down"

That's what I heard as a teenager and guess what?  They were right.  At sixteen I was caught in a whirlwind of emotions and like most teens I thought I had it all figured out.  At that age you feel like you can conquer the world and that anything is possible.  You have your entire life ahead of you and you're young enough to change your mind a few times.

Here is the thing about love.  It defies everything that makes sense.  It stops you dead in your tracks.  It throws you a curve ball and just like that all your plans are out the window.  I was in love at sixteen.  I didn't go out looking for it.  In fact, I can remember telling him that I had no interest in having a boyfriend.  I didn't want to be tied down.  I was just starting my junior year in high school and I had plans for my life.  However, love trumps life.

I met my future husband at a party.  It was a party that I hadn't even planned on going to, but my parents wouldn't allow my little sister to attend without me.  A mutual friend introduced us and while it wasn't exactly fireworks, there was definitely a solid chemistry.  Have you ever met someone and felt like you have known them for years?  That was us.  Conversation flowed, butterflies ensued, and the rest was history.  He was different.  He was my ideal.  The more we talked, the more we found we had in common and we became instant friends.  I was going to church, and he was willing to go with me and we even prayed together.  It was all looking so promising.

Then entered compromise...

With the intense feelings came the willingness to jeopardize things.  That's where we stumbled and fell.  We started lying, sneaking, and doing everything else we weren't supposed to... and it was all for the sake of love.  As you already know, you can't go on forever making the wrong choices.  Eventually it catches up to you and God reveals your secrets.  He teaches you a lesson.  I was about to learn mine at seventeen and by way of an unplanned pregnancy.  Jesus has a way of intervening when we start putting things (whether plans or people) before Him.  Sometimes it takes a slap to get your attention.

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it produces
a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
Hebrews 12:11

See, God wanted me to remember my first love.  He was my first love and I should have been obedient to Him and seeking HIS will in my life, not my own.  He used my teen pregnancy to get my eyes back on Him.  I wish I could say the shift in my attention was immediate.  No, I'm afraid it took years of Him disciplining me.  My pregnancy was just the starting off point.

"Stern discipline awaits anyone who leaves the path;
the one who hates correction will die."
Proverbs 15:10

If that verse seems harsh then that is because the truth hurts.  If we don't heed correction we will die in our sin.  We will be consumed by chaos and choked out by our own pride.  God offers us peace if we would only accept His gift and turn from our messy, thoughtless, selfish ways.  I thank Jesus for being so patient with me.  I'm so grateful that at seventeen He reminded me that TRUE love was Him dying on a cross so that I could live.  You see,  it is true.  Love trumps life.  His love most definitely trumps mine.

Thank you for reading.  See you again soon!

Linking up at #TellHisStory

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

why abortion wasn't an option

No one explains this to you when you are expecting at seventeen years old but I'm going to try and shed light on the subject.

There is an instant connection with the baby growing inside you

After finding out that I was pregnant for the first time there was a flood of emotions that came with it.  It was an incredibly scary time and I don't think I've experienced that level of anxiety since.  However, I felt a bond to the tiny life that was inside me.  Call it mother instinct if you will, I call it love.

Thinking back to before it was actually confirmed that I was pregnant I would sometimes ponder on the possibility that I might be and the reason being that I couldn't ignore this heaviness inside me.  A literal heaviness.  Something that carried weight.  I'm not sure if I'm alone in this feeling because I've never heard anyone else mention it.  I can tell you that this same heaviness was evident in my very first weeks of my second pregnancy as well.


I was no longer just one person but now I was two.  I was responsible for the life inside me.  I started eating better, getting more rest, and drinking plenty of water.  I cared about wanting the best for my baby.

I distinctly remember thinking about how the nurse had offered to schedule me an appointment for an abortion.  I recollected how easy and quick they tried to make that decision for a young girl without her parents even knowing.  I had heard of more than one girl getting one at my age (even younger) but I could not even fathom the possibility of it.  I imagined the horror of that tiny life being cut from me.  It had to be painful because there was connection, life, and an immediate bond.  I thought of the women who had the misfortune of miscarrying and my heart hurt for them.  I remember tearing up at the thought of my baby not surviving long enough to be born and it nearly broke my heart.


Responsibility loomed and the threat of my destroyed life was on the horizon.  I could no longer be an adolescent without a care.  I could no longer make decisions just for myself.  I was now expecting a baby that I had to feed, clothe, and raise into a responsible adult.  Sure, I could have thought of a million reasons as to why aborting my baby might be the simpler way out.  I could have argued the point that it really wasn't a baby till it was born and took it's first breath like so many others do (which is not what I believe).  I could have made valid excuses as to why my goals were much too important and I couldn't give them up to raise a baby.  The problem was that they would all be MY excuses.  Selfish excuses.  I could have pushed my morals aside, tried to forget my relationship with God, hid my feelings of conviction, and erased my unplanned pregnancy.  The thing was that I understood at that young age that there was no hiding from God.  I would have to answer one day for my actions.  I knew in my heart that abortion was wrong and that to destroy this child was to destroy God's plan.  To abort was to stand defiant before God and tell Him that I knew what was best for my life.  That's not something I could bear to do.

I recently came across photos on a blog that a mother shared of her seven and eight week old babies that she had miscarried.  It was beautiful to see how delicate and precious these babies were at such an early point in development.  She showed that their tiny lives mattered.  That their forms were (even at the stage) more than just flesh, but human babies.  I have taken the liberty of posting her link here.  We hear so much in the news about Planned Parenthood and the dehumanization they are committing by selling body parts of aborted babies.  There is no denying the fact that those little babies have more value than any amount of money can replace. If you are faced with the decision of aborting your baby or keeping it, I urge you to keep your child.  I pray that God gives you the courage to face the challenge of raising that baby with love and guidance.  To make good of a bad situation and to say that your baby matters more to you than yourself.  I promise, you won't regret it.

Perhaps you are reading this and it's too late.  You've already made that choice.  Please know that with true remorse and repentance comes forgiveness.  It's not too late to turn it all around and for God to make good of the damage that was caused.  It just takes faith.

Be blessed,

I'm linking up at...

Grace & Truth

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

hardship and hope

So there I was...a young girl of seventeen with her whole life ahead of her and now that life looked hopeless.  I could barely see what the following week would look like, let alone years.

If I could go back, I would embrace the old me and and look into my eyes and tell myself that everything would work out.  That there was no need to worry because God was holding me in His right hand, all I needed to do was cling to Him.

"I cling to you;  your right hand upholds me"  

Psalm 63: 8

The Lord doesn't promise us an easy life.  In fact, he says the very opposite.  We will have a life that is filled with trouble.  What I find remarkable is that He offers himself as the escape from the turmoil.  He promises to never leave us alone and tells us that He will give us the strength and endurance we need to finish this race well.  His hand is outstretched and waiting for us to place our palm in His.  He is standing by listening and waiting patiently for us to cry out to Him.  He is immediately there to comfort, support, and defend us, if we would only ask.

There is no denying the fact that we make one mistake after the next and our days are filled with learning experiences.  Remember that the Lord supplies us with His word as guidance on how to deal with the day-to-day and He also gives us the victory through His son.  So when you find yourself knocked down...reach out your hand...and call on Jesus.  He is there to help you onto your feet again.

Thank you for stopping by and may the Lord bless you :-)

I linked up at Grace & Truth

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

the day my life changed - part two

To read part here

"This can't be happening"

Those were my thoughts on the drive back to my house.  My mascara was long gone and my eyes were pink and swollen from the tears.

My friend was visibly nervous and as she drove I spilled my guts.  I told her how I was wrong and how now my life was changed because of bad choices.  My entire perspective had shifted in the time between the drive to the clinic and the drive home.  No longer was I laughing about our boyfriends and the teenage troubles.  Now I had REAL problems.  My future was cast before my eyes and it looked pretty bleak.  She listened as reality hit me dead on.  I'm sure she was feeling pretty grateful she wasn't me at that particular moment.

As we pulled up to my house, I remember I told her to rethink her relationship and to be careful.  I told her to stop having unprotected sex or she could end up just like me.  I wish I could tell you that those words effected her.  I believe it was just a year later that she ended up pregnant herself.  We said our goodbyes, she wished me luck, and she told me she'd see me at school.

I collected myself and tried to wipe away any evidence of crying from my face as I walked up to the house.  From that moment on it was now about hiding my "little secret".  I walked straight into my room careful to avoid anyone and hoped they wouldn't see me.  Lucky for me the house seemed empty.

I sat on my bed and my mind began to be bombarded with thoughts.  I felt nauseated and dizzy.  I was sweating, nervous, and my head was pounding.  I thought of my boyfriend Anthony.  He had no idea he was going to be a daddy.  I made up my mind then and there that I'd break the news to him gently and it would be in person.  Even though I wanted someone to talk to more than anything I couldn't bear giving him this kind of news over the phone.  I loved him and I wanted to be there with him.  I touched my tummy.  I was scared but I knew that I already loved this baby.  There was life inside of me and I would protect it.

My mind then went to a scary place.  I couldn't get my mind off of my parents.  I was so frightened that they'd yell at me when they found out.  I imagined that they would kick me out and disown me.  My parents that had been so good to me were now this looming threat.  How could I look them in the eyes?  How could I betray their trust?  I remember my Mom questioning me once or twice about how serious things were getting with Anthony.  I had lied.  The thought of my parents forbidding me to see him was unbearable.  My stomach turned as the room began to spin out of control.

I heard footsteps approaching the bedroom door and then my little sister walked in.  I say little but she was only a couple of years younger than I.  All it took was one look and she stopped dead in her tracks knowing immediately that something was amiss.  Unfortunately, I was never good at hiding my emotions.  I quickly asked her to shut the door.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

She sat next to me as I let it all out and burst into tears.  Her eyes widened as she hugged me.  She listened in stunned silence as I cried and she patted my back as I explained what I had just experienced a short hour ago.

"You can't say a word.  Not a single word to anyone" I cried.

She promised she wouldn't and I could see in her eyes that she knew I meant serious business.  She sat there and tried comforting me the best she could.  I quickly realized that if I hadn't been able to hide it from my sister then the chances of me hiding it from my parents was very slim.  It then became about pretending like nothing was wrong till I could find the right time to tell them.  First things first, I had to figure out how I was going to tell my boyfriend that he was going to be a Father.

Please stop in again soon to read about how I told my boyfriend and parents about my "little news".

Thank you for taking the time to read,
Be blessed.

Monday, August 3, 2015

the shame I felt being a pregnant teen

No one tells you about the intense feeling of shame that overwhelms you when you find out that you are pregnant at seventeen.  It has a crippling effect and at times it can take your breath away.  You're embarrassed because now you have to reveal to the world that you made a mistake.  You had unprotected sex (against your better judgment) and now you have to pay the price.

I understand that the circumstances behind each teen-pregnancy is different.  Some girls are in love, others barely know the father of the child, some get pregnant on purpose,  and others are sadly forced to have intercourse against their will.  The list goes on and on.  This is simply my story, and it's one out of millions.  I don't think I'm alone when I say that "shame" is a feeling that most teen mothers experience.

I remember being frightened about all of the uncertainties of life.  I did't know how my parents would react, or my how my boyfriend's family would take the news.  Neither one of us was employed, and I was still in high school.  How were we going to support our baby?  Like flood-waters the problems rushed in.  The doubt and fear was almost unbearable.  All I wanted to do was curl up into a ball on the floor and imagine my problems would miraculously disappear.  As we all know, life doesn't work that way.  We either fight, or we give-up.  It came to my surprise to learn that I'm a fighter.  I would fight for my new family.  I would take responsibility for my actions and I would provide for my baby.  This was my life and nothing was going to change it so I had to make the best of it.  We all have choices to make and I could either let the shame destroy me, or I could let it drive me.  I could prove to my family and friends that my circumstances wouldn't defeat me.

My mind was willing but what I didn't know yet was that my flesh wouldn't be up to the task.  My heart needed an immense amount of healing and my life wouldn't succeed without help from the One who was ultimately in charge.  I would be a child flung into an adult world and I was equipped with nothing more than some adolescent emotions and a young man of twenty-one that I was hoping would be my Knight in Shining Armor.  This kind of naive idealism was setting me up for plenty of disappointments.

My saving Grace had come before all this...before I was pregnant, before I met my boyfriend.  It had begun with a prayer that I had said in faith in sincerity.  It began when I was fifteen, and maybe even before then.  My story had already been written, and God would be using my teen pregnancy to grow me.  For it is written...

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."  
                                              Genesis 50:20  NIV

The sin of having sex before I was married was what satan had intended on using to destroy me.  The temptation and compromise I was lured into was supposed to diminish my hope and make me feel so ashamed that there would be no way that God would take me back into His loving arms.  Why would He?  I was a mess.  The enemy is a liar and his only agenda is to make us feel like unwanted, unloved, unworthy things that can't possibly be forgiven for our mistakes.  But God says...

"Do not be afraid: you will not be put to shame.  Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.  You will forget the shame of your youth..."
Isaiah 54:4  NIV

God's plan for our lives is so much more than we can dream up ourselves.  Let Him grow you and mold you.  There is no shame in Christ, only love.

Be blessed!

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

miraculous anniversary

Today is my sixteenth wedding anniversary.  I will save you the husband is the father of my children and he is the young man I fell in love with at the tender age of sixteen.  This coming September marks twenty years that we have been together.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank the Lord above for the blessings he has bestowed upon us.  While it hasn't been an easy road, it has been well worth it.  In fact, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

This path we are on is the road less traveled.  It is not very often that you hear about couples being married as long as us this day in age.  Especially if they started out the way that we did.  With God, all things are possible.  If you do a little bit of investigating you'll find that divorce in the United States has been on a steady rise for the past hundred years or so.  I found some interesting statistics here.

Whatever walk of life you may currently be in, I am here to tell you,  I have gone through the ups and downs of marriage and only one person has remained completely constant...Jesus.  Sure, I have been blessed with a remarkable husband, but he is human.  I am human.  Both of us are far from perfect and we have both made our fair share of mistakes.  I am certain that if we hadn't surrendered our lives to Jesus that we wouldn't have made it this far.

Some of you may be scratching your heads in disbelief.  Maybe it was luck, or a fluke, or maybe I was fortunate enough to find that one in a million.  Part of the reason I started this blog in the first place was to be able to share about the various storms in my life and show you that nothing in my life was by luck or chance.  There is someone out there meant for you and as you prayer is you'll believe that there is a beautiful plan for your life too.

Thank you for reading!

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Friday, July 24, 2015

the day my life changed - part one

It was a beautiful warm day in February as I pulled up to the clinic in my good friend's car.  We were laughing and talking about our relationships with our boyfriends.  Really it was just a way to try to distract myself from the fact that I was a month late on my period and that I might be receiving news that could change everything.  My heart was racing and yet I dismissed the thought.

As we walked into the stale building I carefully scanned the crowd.  Young moms and pregnant teens accompanied by their mothers who looked too young to be grandmothers.  All of a sudden I saw a familiar face.  A friend I went to school with the previous year but had lost touch with.  There she was with a stroller and a precious newborn.  I remember feeling sorry for her, and her smiling at me with pity in her eyes.  I know now that she felt sorry for me.  I pressed on, grabbed a clipboard, and proceeded to fill out the paperwork on the clipboard including a fake name.  My friend and I were now incapable of small talk.  She was scared for me, I could feel it.

As I waited for my name to be called, I distinctly remember my own voice going over and over in my head..."Please be negative, please be negative"

Then my fake name was called.  Funny, I don't remember what name I gave or why I didn't give my real one.  I proceeded to a small bathroom where I was asked to urinate in a plastic cup.  The nurses were middle-aged women, and I remember feeling like nothing more than a child.  A child who was pretending to be an adult.  I was seventeen, what was I thinking playing this adult game?  I was then asked to wait in a small waiting room facing a long hallway.  Never were my senses more aware.  I carefully studied each face.  My heart was beating out of my chest and my nerves were going haywire.  I watched who went in what room, studied their demeanor, noted what they carried, and waited to see if they looked my way.  I was looking for some clue as to what kind of news might be coming.

Then she called me.  A tall blonde woman who looked nice enough.  She had a gentle voice and held a file in her hand.  She led me to a tiny room with a few chairs in it and asked me to have a seat.

"Brace yourself, brace yourself..."

I don't remember how she worded it, but I remember that she got right to the point.  My test was positive.  I was pregnant.  My world shattered...I burst into tears.  My worst fear had come true.  My first thought was about my poor parents.  I had ruined their trust, crushed their dreams for me, and I would bring embarrassment to the family.  It broke my heart thinking about how much I would be hurting them.  They didn't deserve this.

As this stranger watched me sob her next words snapped me right back to reality...

"Would you like me to schedule you an abortion for next week?"

I glared at her incredulously.  Had she really just asked me this question?  Was this standard protocol?  Immediately I was aware of the tiny life inside me and my defensive mother instinct kicked in.

"No.  Absolutely not.  I got myself into this mess.  I fully intend on taking responsibility for my baby."

It's funny how quickly your heart and mind can change.  In an instant I had become a mother.  She proceeded to ask me if I had any of the symptoms on her list.  As she read them I began to smile because I had every last one of them.  Nausea, fatigue, headaches, tender breasts, and dizziness.  How  I had even convinced myself that I WASN'T pregnant was beyond me.

I had never felt so alone than at that moment.  The nurses were kind enough to ask my friend (who was still in the waiting room) to join me and it wasn't any consolation.  She was just as scared as me.  I needed someone to talk to.  As our little meeting came to a close the blonde woman asked me if I had any questions.  I asked her if it was okay if I called her, to talk, for advice, for anything.  That was completely out of the ordinary for me.  She gave me other options and support numbers to call.  I quickly realized that this woman had her own life and that I had put her in an uncomfortable position.  If I knew then what I know now I would have realized that the reason I was searching for an authority figure to help fix my problems was because my heart was yearning for Jesus and His answers.  Yet here I was trying to fill His spot with any adult who was willing to listen.

My friend and I left with a file full of pregnancy brochures.  My eyes were red and my face was tear-stained.  My innocence was forever gone.  My childhood erased.  I now faced the unimaginable.  What would my new life be like?

To be

Thanks for reading,

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

the first of many posts...

So let me get right down to it...I was a teen mom.  I had my first-born child at the age of eighteen.  I gave birth to my son four months after I graduated High School in October of the year 1997.  I was frightened beyond belief, overwhelmed, ashamed, and excited all at the same time.  I had the weight of the world on my shoulders and felt an immediate sense of responsibility.  The irony of the situation was that I was a child having a child.

If you do the math you will find that I was about 5 months pregnant when I graduated.  I was that girl that nobody thought would get pregnant.  I couldn't even believe it myself.  Maybe that is even you today as you read.  I felt an incredible amount of pressure.  I dealt with the anticipation of shaming my parents (and seeing it come to fruition).  I dealt with the uncomfortable glare and snide remark in the school hallway.  Above all else, I heard and felt negativity coming at me from all directions.  What an incredible emotional burden to take on while expecting your first child and all that comes with that alone.

I am going to save you the suspense and jump right to end of my story.  I have a happy ending.  Don't get me wrong, it was not by my own doing and I had plenty of bumps and scratches along the way.  My story is a true-story about how life isn't necessarily doomed after a teen pregnancy and how things will always work out with God's help.  Embark with me on my journey of love, enlightenment, and remarkable discoveries.  We will be diving into learning experiences together and learning the purpose behind them.  I can't wait to know you all better and hear your personal stories too.

Thank you for following "Victoriously Me"