Wednesday, September 2, 2015

why abortion wasn't an option


No one explains this to you when you are expecting at seventeen years old but I'm going to try and shed light on the subject.

There is an instant connection with the baby growing inside you

After finding out that I was pregnant for the first time there was a flood of emotions that came with it.  It was an incredibly scary time and I don't think I've experienced that level of anxiety since.  However, I felt a bond to the tiny life that was inside me.  Call it mother instinct if you will, I call it love.

Thinking back to before it was actually confirmed that I was pregnant I would sometimes ponder on the possibility that I might be and the reason being that I couldn't ignore this heaviness inside me.  A literal heaviness.  Something that carried weight.  I'm not sure if I'm alone in this feeling because I've never heard anyone else mention it.  I can tell you that this same heaviness was evident in my very first weeks of my second pregnancy as well.

Life
Connection
Bond

I was no longer just one person but now I was two.  I was responsible for the life inside me.  I started eating better, getting more rest, and drinking plenty of water.  I cared about wanting the best for my baby.

I distinctly remember thinking about how the nurse had offered to schedule me an appointment for an abortion.  I recollected how easy and quick they tried to make that decision for a young girl without her parents even knowing.  I had heard of more than one girl getting one at my age (even younger) but I could not even fathom the possibility of it.  I imagined the horror of that tiny life being cut from me.  It had to be painful because there was connection, life, and an immediate bond.  I thought of the women who had the misfortune of miscarrying and my heart hurt for them.  I remember tearing up at the thought of my baby not surviving long enough to be born and it nearly broke my heart.

Responsibility

Responsibility loomed and the threat of my destroyed life was on the horizon.  I could no longer be an adolescent without a care.  I could no longer make decisions just for myself.  I was now expecting a baby that I had to feed, clothe, and raise into a responsible adult.  Sure, I could have thought of a million reasons as to why aborting my baby might be the simpler way out.  I could have argued the point that it really wasn't a baby till it was born and took it's first breath like so many others do (which is not what I believe).  I could have made valid excuses as to why my goals were much too important and I couldn't give them up to raise a baby.  The problem was that they would all be MY excuses.  Selfish excuses.  I could have pushed my morals aside, tried to forget my relationship with God, hid my feelings of conviction, and erased my unplanned pregnancy.  The thing was that I understood at that young age that there was no hiding from God.  I would have to answer one day for my actions.  I knew in my heart that abortion was wrong and that to destroy this child was to destroy God's plan.  To abort was to stand defiant before God and tell Him that I knew what was best for my life.  That's not something I could bear to do.

I recently came across photos on a blog that a mother shared of her seven and eight week old babies that she had miscarried.  It was beautiful to see how delicate and precious these babies were at such an early point in development.  She showed that their tiny lives mattered.  That their forms were (even at the stage) more than just flesh, but human babies.  I have taken the liberty of posting her link here.  We hear so much in the news about Planned Parenthood and the dehumanization they are committing by selling body parts of aborted babies.  There is no denying the fact that those little babies have more value than any amount of money can replace. If you are faced with the decision of aborting your baby or keeping it, I urge you to keep your child.  I pray that God gives you the courage to face the challenge of raising that baby with love and guidance.  To make good of a bad situation and to say that your baby matters more to you than yourself.  I promise, you won't regret it.

Perhaps you are reading this and it's too late.  You've already made that choice.  Please know that with true remorse and repentance comes forgiveness.  It's not too late to turn it all around and for God to make good of the damage that was caused.  It just takes faith.

Be blessed,
Natalie


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